Thursday, October 16, 2014

simplicity in structure || etiquette

There were eight of us, 4 pairs of siblings. We grew up together, sharing backyards and cups of hot chocolate on snow days. The cul-de-sac was our soccer field and roller rink. It was an unspoken rule that the cul-de-sac was common ground; we rallied everyone if someone felt like a game of Life (inspired by the board game) or hockey. There was no "who should we invite?".

Growing up, invitations were paper, and if you didn't have enough cupcakes for everyone, then no one could indulge in the frosting-covered treats. My mama started a "you can't say you can't play" campaign at my elementary school, and I addressed valentines to every classmate.

Etiquette is simplicity in structure. I wonder if I am a bit old-fashioned in my expectations nowadays. To get an email saying "here's what we're doing - feel free to join us" makes me feel like I'm on the second-tier of friendship. To find out that everyone's going to the hayride and of course I can tag along isn't the same as being invited. Being welcomed just isn't as same.

There is comfort in the social rituals, the adherence to rules that prioritize others.

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