SEC Saturday

I'm more yinz than ya'll, despite my adoration of antebellum architecture and sweet tea sipped on front porches. I picked mittens over mason jars, attending Cornell then Temple.

But come Saturday afternoon, I woo pig sooie and roll time as if I never spent a day above the Mason Dixon line. The CBS announcers, with their lullaby of first downs and interceptions, remind me that for those four quarters, it doesn't matter that I'm miles away. One day I'll call the hogs. Until then, my couch will do.